Ask Dan: Moose Knuckles, No-Show Undershirts, Bad Ink
February 25th, 2015
Trouser Crotch Bulge
Q: I just got some pants back from the tailor. They look good, but…how do I say this…my “package” seems to be very “on display”. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of fabric in the crotch area. Embarrassingly, somebody at the office made a comment about it the other day… What’s the solution?
A: Ah, the ‘ol bulge problem. There’s two different types of crotch “bulges” that can happen after a tailor operates on trousers. In one case, the tailor slimmed the exterior thighs and outside of the hips too much, without trimming the front crotch of the pants. This causes a fabric “bubbling” or “pouching” effect around the bottom of the fly. The other case, which sounds like the problem you’re describing, is a combination of the rise being too low and the front hips being too small. See if you’re tailor can let-out the front-side of the hip seams along with the crotch fork to increase the overall rise of the trouser. This is a fairly major operation that may involve setting a new zipper, but its worth asking before investing in new pants. Going forward, if you have a big “package” you might need a full-rise trouser to avoid those “moose knuckle” jokes.
Q: Hey Dan, I subscribe to your “tailored suit to the office, tie off for the night out” method of dressing. Problem is, I always wear a white v-neck undershirt – to keep sweat stains down. Therefore when I take off my tie and open a few shirt buttons, the neckline of the undershirt shows. It’s not a good look. Are there “no show” undershirts or something I should know about?
A: Whoa, this one really took me back. I touched on this years ago on my very first blog page. Check it out: the Do-It-Yourself No-Show Undershirt.
Updating Bad Ink
Q: I have an old tattoo that I got when I was in high school. Obviously, my style and interests have changed since then, and now I don’t like it or think it represents me. I’ve heard that tattoo removal leaves a shadowy/scarred look that is still visible… What should I do?
A: Get creative. Don’t think erase, think edit. A tattoo from your high school days is like a rough draft, and you’ve had many years to think about the final copy. My advice would be to come up with a tattoo design that will be more meaningful to you long-term, then consult the best artist you know to discuss how you can change your “original draft” into your new design. You’d be surprised how many good tattoos are re-dos of old tattoos.
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Thanks, as always, for reading.
Yours in style,
Photography by Alex Crawford.